Wednesday, September 22, 2004
[currently playing: Clay Aiken - Solitaire]
You represent... kindness.
You're a very gentle, kind, and caring individual.
You truely care about people and are generally
well-liked. Though sometimes you may be
perceived as weak, you truely have a strong
heart and a good desire to help others.
What feeling do you represent? brought to you by Quizilla
Hmm.. today is a really busy day.. tons of work to finish~sighs.. but too bad i only manage to finish half of those.. so sianz..tmr got to continue again~~~ . . . .
Anyway i changed my specs.. n cut my fringe.. which makes me look so funny..haha some say i look younger, some say i look funny.. some say i look cool.. whahahha.. im thinking of changing my hair style.. but jus couldnt think of any great idea~ sighs~
Been thinking alot recently.. often looking so dreamy n listless..i dunno y i begin to dislike myself real lots.. i jus couldnt handle my feelings.. am i a failure? letting my feelings rule over me.. i jus couldnt.. couldnt... haiz.. "im sorry" to both..
Mayb i should jus walk away.. to a far far place where nobody could find me.. missing from this empty world...
I noe most of u wont be able to get wat im toking about.. n may even say im drunk? hahaha.. or perhaps im too pessimistic? haha.. No.. tats all not e ans.. cos im jus typing from my heart..
I wish i can tidy up my feelings soon.. tidy it neat n clean~
Feelings ah feelings........ I HATE U!
we had everything
Saturday, September 18, 2004
[currently playing: Jay - Qi Li Xiang]
Hmm.. a very lazy day.. been lazing at home for the whole day.. lying on the bed like a sick baby.. sighs.. my head is so heavy...my body is so heavy.. but i guess they r nothing compared to the weight of my heart..
Was actually suppose to go out wif my colleagues.. but i really cant find any urge to step out of my house.. *Sighs* the kind of moodiness is in me once again.. i jus dunno wat the hell has gone wrong..
Weekends used to be the days that i will look forward the most.. but now.. its jus 2 days of emptiness..lonliness..and tiredness..suddenly how i wish i can be working whole day..fully pack wif work.. so that i wont let my mind wonder around so freely.. thinking so many stupid and silly stuffs..
I did one stoopig thing today.. i chip off my fringe.. n now i look like a total idiot.. i not only act like one.. but i look like one now.. haha.. how funny..
Sighs.. suddenly regretted cutting it..but hmm nvm.. lucky hair can grow ^_^
Jus now received a call from auntie saying my cousin is getting married in nov~ n guess wat? shes only 22!!! hmm so young.. i feel happy for her but jealous at the same time..*sighs* when will i have the chance to marry sumone whos really wanna marry me from the bottom of his heart?*sighs* nvm~
Theres nothing more for me to look forward.. life is so blur.. so uncertain..so aimless..im a failure.. once a failure.. alwaes a failure.. *duhz*
The more simple u wan things to be.. the more complicated it will become..thoughts are funny.. really funny.. im sick of thinking.. tired of thinking.. i hate thinking!!!!!!
we had everything
Monday, September 13, 2004
[currently playing: Hoobastank - The Reason]
Jus reached home not long..waiting for my long thick hair to dry now.. ZzZz ~ bad part of having long long hair..
Hmm aniwae today went wanlin's house celebrate her bd..actually is yesterdae one la.. but bo bian.. yesterdae i got work full shift n dear's out, so never go celebrate until today.. =p
Hmm.. but aniwae not too bad.. got me, qi, suqin, meixian n kaili..Me was taking lots of pics wif wanxuan, n lots of self pics..also haha long time no catching oso le..thus tok real lots today haha~ so chatty.. lots of stuffs to catch up wif.. most of us are working, share share all the experiences ~ so many.. one should really be contented wif wat one has.. everyone will have diff problems of his/her own. Working life is really stress.. but it really depends on how u handle it.. n the colleague around u plays a great part too..
For me, hmm work is getting much better, not cos of less stress.. but i got more gd frens.. =) Everyday work till so late.. really shag..tmr still gonna wake up early.. sighs~ Wynn, my partner is having leave tmr.. sighs.. i will be alone at the front desk to handle everything! oh gosh~ im having tat stress again! lol.. but wat to do?? endure!!!!! whahaha
Hmm.. lots n lots of stuffs are on my mind lately.. i dun understand myself more n more.. i dunno wat i wan in life.. i dunno myself.. i dunno.. really dun.. does anione have this problem too? haha the older i get the less i understand myself.. wierd eh? Sighs~my heart feel so heavy.. my brain feel so restless.. my body is so tired................
i guess time for rest.. gd nitez peeps~~~~! =)
we had everything
Monday, September 06, 2004
[currently playing: Ben Jelen - Come On]
wOo.. its been a really long time since i last updated.. hmm aniwae love the song im listening now..
Hmm so hows life for me recently? Haha.. its more or less e same.. cos been working everydae..n theres not really much to describe aniwae.. haha but last week was a unlucky week.. cos ganna shouted or scolded for nothing.. worst thing was when its isnt my fault at all..but.. hmm wat to do? working life.. duhz..
Sighs.. feeling pretty lost.. alot of stuffs are on my mind.. its not pretty gd to be a deep thinker yea? i alwaes think alot.. sumtimes too much that i will alwaes cause unhappiness n stress to myself..
wat is regret? do you ppl ever regret anithing u have done in e past? thinking about is there any ways to savage? or is it already e end? n there will never b a chance to start afresh? blaming n cursing urself for choosing the wrong path or so? cause hurt to sumone whom u dun wish to hurt at all? thinking through the night wat has really gone wrong wif u?
Thoughts are really amusing.. they control the way u behave n act.. but certain times.. feelings rule over the mind.. which u cant even differentiate wat u did is right or wrong...
Are you sumone who solely depend on ur heart or ur mind? For me? i follow more closely to my feelings.. n tats y my life is in a hectic..i cannot make the right decisions at the right times.. n i tend to do e wrong things at e wrong times..
But wat to do.. time has pass.. n i have to grow up..........
The time still moves on........
aniwae dun say about all these wierd wierd stuffs le.. haha.. Lets say bout sumthing happy.. hmm n tat is 2 more hrs to my dear's bd!!! woot.. hehe.. but too bad hes in tekong now.. cant celebrate wif him.. but nvm.. here i wish my dear a very happy birthdae!!!!! =) hope everything will be smooth for ya.... =)
we had everything