Saturday, May 29, 2004

[currently feeling: excited, tired]
[currently playing: Only Lonely]

hmm been some time since i blog..haha.. aniwae recent life is very simple.. gunbound, gunbound and gunbound. lol.. finally been promoted to stone hammer and got my rain wand n marine suit!!haha so happy.. but still playing like a aniwae its a very fun game.. those very bored mayb can try it out.. hehee jus go n create a account can le =) my acc is yUnzy!! hehe can add me if u r playing.. =)

SO excited.. tmr will be going Mua n KL wif my classmates n bf.. hehee.. =) so happy sia.. will not b blogging for e next four days... cos will b back only on tues.. =)
take care peeps k?? miss me oh!!!!!!!!!! haha =p

we had everything12:01 AM
Monday, May 24, 2004

[currently feeling: stoney, giddy]
[currrently playing: MLTR - Don't have to lose]

hmm currently feeling a little stone. hmm i oso dunno wat has been missing. sighs~ aniwae went bee's house yesterdae to help her format comp. haha talk cock till bout 3am++ as we waited for e comp to finish installing and went to sleep after that..haha but it was so hot that i couldnt get to sleep. my goodness sia~ recently e weather is really.. *arrghhh* buey da han. haha bout 5am++ i walk staight to e fan n pointed straight at bee n me.. haha hope shes not feeling cold suddenly~lol.

Aniwae, got a very early birthdae present from bee, lin n qi.hehe its a Hugo Boss Intense perfume!!!hehe e perfume i have been saving up to buy! n guess wat they bought it for me!!im so so touch!!!!! thanks a million girls *HUGS* but dun spend too much time on my birthdae..cos to me its not e present.. but e thought that counts~ n im very glad i have alot of frens who really care bout me.. =) thanks a million to all my frens too!!hehe~

we had everything1:56 PM
Saturday, May 22, 2004

[currently feeling: happy, giddy]
[currently playing: Southern Sons- You were there]

Hmm.. its been sumtime since i blog eh.. been very lazy these days..haha..hmm aniwae went shopping wif bee bee on thursday.. went to bugis walk walk n bought a sale top~ hehe.. after that went to orchard walk walk..ate KFC GoGo meal =) ~ hmm not been having a very gd appetite recently sia.. ate very little~ dunno wat happen oso.. but oso gd la. e more i eat e fatter i become..haha so better dun eat so much lol~
aniwae here r some new pics taken on thurs..

take care peeps!!! =)

we had everything11:08 PM
Wednesday, May 19, 2004

[feeling: happy]
[currently playing: Tata Young - Sexy, Naughty, Bitchy]

haha had been grining like a mad pig since jus now.. e happiness is wat words couldnt explained~

aniwae.. a little pic i put in my resume.. without those fancy stuffs around it. =p
hmm is it appropriate???

we had everything10:20 PM
Tuesday, May 18, 2004

[currently feeling: emotionless]
[currently playing: Trademark - I'll be there for you]

Nothing's special up today.

only one pic of a ugly me..
take care peeps.

we had everything11:27 PM

[feeling: disappointed, sad]
[currently playing: Cyndi - Ai Ni]

Today spend one whole shitty day at home rotting..haha.. went to watch a movie "Beautiful Boxer" wif ming at Sun Plaza at bout 7 pm++. a very interesting show..touching..funny.. aniwae e storyline was about a guy who wants to be a woman. but he needs e money to support his family, thus he resort to Thai boxing. His moves are really powerful n cool. if he remains a man im sure there will b lots of suitors. haha~ but in e end she earn enough to perform a sex change. but throughout e process, it was very tough. cos she has to face all e discriminations of being a tranvestite. Aniwae i dun discriminate her.. cos everyone has their right to choose wat they want n wat they do not want, cos it's their life.

*sighs* for me? i cant get wat i want in life.. basically mayb cos im a total failure all e while. haha..

Hmm aniwae jus sorted out my hp photos jus now~ these r some of e cutey shots i took of lin's sis..hehe shes so cute isnt she..?

Feeling sleepy.. hasnt been sleeping gd recently..
*gd nite* peeps.

we had everything2:58 AM
Monday, May 17, 2004

[currently feeling: dreamy,giddy]
[currently playing: Liang Jing Ru - Fly Away]

so whats up today? wake up damn early..bout 9am++ near to 10am. z.z.z feeling a slight headache now..think not enough sleep ba..but dunno y..i still dun feel like sleeping..aniwae today wake up so early cos of juminah's wedding.

hehe she was my pri school fast young married le.her husband is a 29 yr old handsome guy.. =) aniwae they look really matching cos guy handsome, gal pretty. hehe~
today went to her wedding wif my some of my pri school mates n they are qi, yanlin n fenglian. long time never met fenglian n yanlin le sia.. so happy to meet them~hehe we tok alot bout marridge today..haha bout how e wedding should many kids we wanna have.. how old we intend to get married these n that..
actually.. for me.. i intend to get married asap!!haha dunno y..would really like to marry a guy who loves me n i love him.. haha childish eh?but this got to wait till sumone wans me loh~ haha.. aniwae intend to have 2 kids in future. =p build up a happy im so dreamy today..haha

aniwae through our conversations, found out that many of my pri school mates are actaully married and some even already had 1 kid!!hehe so shocking sia~ heng its not only me who cant wait to get married..hahahha

we had everything12:08 AM
Sunday, May 16, 2004

[feeling: sad, feverish]
[currently playing: Martina Mcbride - My Valentine]

jus bathed not long ago..i feel a little feverish.. *sighs* i hate e night..jus hate it so much..nights are so lonely..haiz..trying to keep myself bz these few days.. trying not to think of anithing, not to bother his life.. but i jus cant.. my mind is still all him~ *sighs* im really such a failure..y ppl can gif it up so easily..but im still clinging on so titely?i feel so useless when it comes to e word love.. *sighs*

aniwae today went KTV wif my sjab buddies. jac, ru, qi n xinyun. sang alot of songs.. n every song reminds me of him.. really feel like crying as i sang them.. *sighs*
but still, i had a nice catching up session wif e gals. when they r around, i can feel e release from sadness.. but once everyone is gone, i feel e loneliess n sadness again. *gosh* wat is happening to me? i really need a assuring hug~~~~ *sighs*

though i may seem alright on e surface.. but i dun deny.. i really miss him......

hope u r doing fine if u read this..
*gd nitez*

we had everything12:18 AM
Saturday, May 15, 2004

[feeling: sad, sick]
[currently playing: S.H.E - Only Lonely]

Hmm.. another day has passed again.. jus bathed not long ago.. having a bad headache now.. z.z.z dunno wat e hell sia.. my head feel so damn bloated again.. *sighs* aniwae.. today went lin's house.. tok cock, sing song, play majong. haha.. had some self crave photo taking at her house.. hehe scroll below for a look.. =p aniwae all these pics taken using her LG7100(forgotten if its this model)phone.. all posted without editing.. =) oso e little kiddy beside me is wanlin's sis.. so cute right? she kiss me oh!!hehe~ shes really soooo cute sia.. suddenly feel that how gd if i had a little sis like her.. cos can cheer me up when im feeling down.. haha =p
*sighs* im thinking of him again.......

we had everything12:21 AM
Thursday, May 13, 2004

[feeling : sad, sick, giddy]
[currently playing: Trademark - Dont want to live without you]

Oh god.. i think im beginning to feel e symtoms of stress and not enough of sleep.. i feel so giddy now.. my head is so bloated as if its going to explode..i feel terrible..*sighs* wonder what has got into me.. i feel hot over.. am i gonna have a fever again? i feel so unwell.. haiz~
Hmm n once again.. in this lonely night.. im thinking of him.. am i foolish? *sighs* still holding that little hope in me that he will come hug me n tell me he love me once again.. *slaps* i muz b dreaming.. too sick to think..
i think im going for a rest.. earliest noted sleeping time...after a week of superwoman life.. im finally back to a normal human.. finally falling sick like how a normal human will b after a week of daily routine of 4 to 5 hrs sleep...

*will be thinking of u* even if im not in ur mind.......

*gd nitez*

we had everything11:42 PM
Wednesday, May 12, 2004

i hate myself.. jus hate myself so much.. so many ppl r telling me to jus let it go..let it go..but i jus cant. in my mind theres alwaes a sign of little hope shining infront of me..ppl say im stupid.. ppl say im foolish.. but i do not care.. put away my face.. put away my pride.. to carry on waiting.. i really dunno wat am i waiting for now.. i tried to do many things.. but my mind is jus him n only him.. *sighs* y am i like this? im such a failure.. no matter wat i do.. im alwaes a failure in life.. he said we will try again.. but told me he cant try e next day.. *sighs* wat am i? i really feel like a total fool disgracing myself every hr..every min..every sec.. but wats love?? Love is blind.. n u dun mind disgracing urself to e core for e person u truly love..u dun mind waiting for e day that he will hug u n tell u he loves u once again..u dun mind crying everydae for him..n jus for him...u dun mind thinking of him day n night..
i feel so lonely.. e only way i can relieve myself is toking to my blog.. crying as i type all these... *sighs* life without u is miserable.. can u feel e way i do???

we had everything3:33 PM

++ the end ++
so the story has finally come to an end.
though i cant let go..
feel really sad..
but i noe i jus have to..
will try my very best not to go n find u animore..
wont want to make u miserable animore too..
if u r reading this..dun b guilty..
i wish u all e best...

we had everything3:17 AM
Sunday, May 09, 2004

Today is mama's day. Accompany mama to bugis temple pray then go for a little shopping. cried in the morning. upset. hurt. but i noe theres nothing more i can do. i already did my best. i guess its time to really let go. i have been such a pest. bugger. sighs. should fan xing fan xing. agree that once e love is gone, its gone. no matter wat u do, how much u cried, its gone. forever. shitty crappy me. i dunno wat i am saying. tired. sick. giddy. hurt. painful. sad. disappointed. down. guilty. lost. so many many feelings mixing n mixing inside me. i alwaes think that i can take love simple n easy. but i cant. i told myself to let him free. happy without me. but i jus cant. i cried. over n over again. but... nvm.. *sighs*

done a little quiz.
results as below.

crystal heart
Heart of Crystal

What is Your Heart REALLY Made of?
brought to you by Quizilla

try it when u have e time peeps. do take care~

we had everything10:36 PM
Saturday, May 08, 2004

[currently playing: S.H.E - Zao Bu Dao]

[Current State: Sad]

+ painful +

Lyrics of e song reminds me of someone.perhaps its time i should b e one to sing it to u and not u who is singing it to me.
Do take care when im not by ur side........

we had everything1:19 PM
Tuesday, May 04, 2004

[currently playing: Tata Young - I Want What I Want]
[In a State of hurt n Confusion ]

*yawns* didnt go work today..cos im not feeling well..not physically..but mentally..*sighs* i really feel so so so heart hurts~ its crying..still crying~ e tears n hurt has not gone away..i dunno what should i do..all i wan is a simple it really that difficult?all i ask for is a guy to b able to truely love me for who i am..appreciate me..appreciate our it really that difficult?perhaps im making things difficult for ppl around too obsessed wif myself..i only care bout selfish..very selfish..*sighs*
I have done too much sins..n e retribution is all coming for me now..i hurt too many ppl..make too many ppl suffer cos of me..
Been sleeping very late recently..almost 3am everydae..i jus cant sleep..thinking i thinking far too much?i dunno..

What is Love to me now:

- Hurt. Nothing but hurt..
- Tears. Uncontrollable flow of tears.
- Lonely Night.
- Darkness
- No Way Out.
- It Jus Sucks..
Im feeling damn damn down now..i guess i should jus go for a little walk.........

we had everything2:29 PM
Monday, May 03, 2004

ARRRGHhhhhhhh....feeling super duper frustrated now! going mad mad mad!!grrr....*sighs* life has not been smooth for me these days..y y y???y am i alwaes e one suffering..y do i alwaes hav to try to gif in to ppl??y y y???aRRghhhhhhhh feeling super sad..super down..super disappointed..i dunno wat to blog..z.z.z...

I JUS SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

we had everything11:18 PM
Sunday, May 02, 2004

hehe today is e 2nd of may le..its been a long time since i blog eh~hehe cos dunno wat to blog..haha
aniwae jus got my unlimited 256kbps broadband yesterday!!haha!wow finally i can get rid of Jetpack n surf unlimitedly!! but who noess yesterdae there is a fatal virus which attacks Windows Xp n 2000..which is e W32.Sesser.Worm. when u tio this virus, ur computer will start to lag..and u jus cant get to surf e first thought it was my computer which has bo bianz..format n format..but still e prob is not solved. tried to call e singnet helpdesk..but still they r too bz to ans my call..duhzz..but heng at last bout 11pm i got through!haha ~ but still my computer already gotten e got to reformat again~ n after that went to e moment i log on to e internet to find e cure..haha n finally at last im able to use my internet!!sianz...a total of 3 formatting of computer yesterdae!! for nothing!!!!sighs..waste my time..yesterdae stay at home all day repairing my comp..cos no one asked me out!lol~ but bout 8pm went Bt panjang plaza wif my mama..she bought me two tops!hehe so sweet!! *hugs mum*
wow..its 3.11pm to go prepare le...
meeting Bee bee later!!hehe shopping spreeeeee!!wowww i miss it!!long time never go shopping wif her le..hehe
aniwae my itp will soon b fri is my last day~ hao she bu de...sighs~~
but tian xia mei you bu san zhi yan xi~haha is that right!?haha~

Hmm aniwae some new pics of me!!!hehee~ take care peeps!!

we had everything3:09 PM


Name:Si Yun
Birthday:6th June

I love lollipops. :D